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Writer's pictureJulia Diorio

Stop Trying to Marry a Mobster

Updated: May 4, 2023

La Cosa Nostra has become an entertainment trope instead of a serious organized crime syndicate.

By Julia Diorio
 

The Italian mafia is a notorious presence in New York City. What was once a group of organized crime that held New York in a chokehold has now become a film genre and romance trope.


At the peak of their power in the 20th century, the Five Families controlled New York. After the Rico Act was passed in 1970, an effort to control and eliminate organized crime, operations have become more underground than they used to be. No longer are there gunfights in the streets or protection payments to be made. Instead, movies like “The Godfather” or “A Bronx Tale” make millions at the box office, and romance authors write series dedicated to the trials and tribulations of the Cosa Nostra.


The original five families have devolved into the Bonanno, Colombo, Gambino, and Genovese families and operate throughout New York, New Jersey, and Florida. Most recently, in August of 2022, nine members of the Bonanno and Genovese families were arrested after an underground gambling ring was discovered in a Long Island gelato shop.


The Italian mafia film genre started in 1932 with “Scarface,” a movie very obviously based on Al Capone and his life within organized crime that was later remade. Things really began to move after Coppola’s “The Godfather” in 1972, which was made into a series after the first’s success. “GoodFellas,” directed by Italian-American Martin Scorsese who helped define the genre into what it is today, followed in 1990


With the resurgence of mafia romance tropes and the general pandemic-induced reading resurgence, there are thousands of books that feature a mafia man falling for the one woman who seemingly “doesn’t care about his flaws,” and they live happily ever after. The real-life situation wasn’t that picturesque.


A mafia wedding was a strategic and political move for each party. Daughters would be married off to sons from other families to create alliances. Oftentimes, the girl would have no choice in the matter and be forced to spend her life as a housewife, silently bleaching the blood from her husband’s suits for the rest of time. Women were not supposed to be involved in the business, nor any business at all.


“The mafiosa exists only in relation to her man,” said Roberto Saviano, a popular Italian anti-mafia author. “Without him, she’s like an inanimate being – only half a person.”


The romance books of today, of course, are about more modernly constructed men. They love their wife, protect them, and veil all suspicious behavior under the guise of protectiveness, and the heroine is often too lovestruck to question it. Some say these books are horrible, some say are fantastic, but, above all, they’re creating a dangerous narrative of violence and silence as being hot and sultry.


Husbands should not be sleeping with a gun under their pillow, or tattooing their backs with their number of kills. It’s a fun theory; it’s interesting; it’s fiction, but life as a mafia wife is dangerous. Your husband is never home — he’s out murdering people or taking mistresses. You don’t get to leave the house because rival families might kidnap you and use you as leverage for your husband.


Furthermore, for the husbands, it’s not all macho men and cannolis. Movies depict perfectly tailored suits, expensive cigars and impressive wealth, but that’s not entirely true. You’re under the don’s mercy — you’re running from the police, and you’re killing people.


“You live by the gun and knife, and die by the gun and knife,” said Joseph Valachi, one of the three Mafia members who have publicly testified in court and spoke about La Cosa Nostra.


Ultimately, organized crime is not a thing of the past. It’s not gone; it’s not untouchable, nor is it something to be romanticized. It’s dangerous and cruel and has just gotten better at flying under the radar.

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